Things are changing. They always are and so they should. Maybe that is what makes moments special; they are indicative of past moments. I am sure I will have plenty more as my girl grows up (I will make sure I do) but as playdates grow longer, sleepovers become more regular and her independence develops our exclusive club of two is slowly opening its doors.
Some things do stay the same though. Every week or or so I am given another poem or picture to to add to the archive. Most weekends she is keen to head into town and peruse the local library. Long may that last, one hopes her developing literary tastes will be catered for wherever they may take her. The pancakes I have been making most Saturday mornings since she was three are still on the menu. It is as if we still like starting the days the way we always have. She has made new friends and her exisiting ones continue to grow as well. Her circle of friends ensure a birthday party or celebration of some kind is never far away and more often than not they are a drop off and pick up affair. Lots of down time for Dad as he waits until pick up.
I am getting used to the ‘me’ time again and it is usually well used. Bearing in mind that could mean a long walk with the dog or a nap to re-charge, ‘well-used’ is a relative term. I have slowly brought myself around to getting out on my own and enjoying the city. Sometimes that getting out is going to the same places me and my girl go to on my own but that is okay too.
I am getting better at doing stuff just for me. The reality of having her half the time means that there is ample opportunity for me to indulge myself a little. It doesn’t mean I think of my girl any less, it is more that I am working out how to use our time apart better than the treading water I have been prone to doing. Old habits still linger sometimes but for the most part I am happy with my time management these days. Slowly my own interests are filling up the ‘me’ time, from skateboarding to playing music and I am even meeting people on my own now, which for me is a major step forward. It is easy to keep your head down and focus on your parenting responsibilities but I have reminded myself lately that there is a person there outside of the parenting role that I can be too. Perhaps a sense of duty coupled with self-preservation has kept me and my daughter as the sole focus. Whatever it has been it has brought nothing but happiness and my relationship with her is my life’s greatest triumph. It always will be and now I feel ready to add to what we have by seeing what waits for me as a person of one.